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“911, what’s your emergency?”
Yeah, hi. Uh 9-1-1 Twitter (known to absolutely no one as “9-1-1 X”) has been ESPECIALLY chaotic this week. Since Sunday, I’ve been fearing for Bobby Nash’s life, but now, on top of that, I’m afraid all chronically online fans of the hit ABC series might be suffering from emotional whiplash, information overload, severe overthinking, and constant laughter.
“OK. That sounds serious. Can you tell me exactly what happened?”
Well, it all began with a funeral procession that we either were or weren’t supposed to see. If 9-1-1 filmed a scene that publicly with fans and phones all around, then it doesn’t feel like it was meant to be a secret, right? But why would the cast and crew want us to preemptively see something as HUGE as a firetruck carrying a 118 casket and Captain Nash’s (Peter Krause) turnout coat?! Athena (Angela Bassett), May (Corinne Massiah), and Harry (Elijah M. Cooper) were dressed in all black walking behind the truck! Captain Gerrard (Brian Thompson), Eddie (Ryan Guzman), Hen (Aisha Hinds), Buck (Oliver Stark), Chimney (Kenneth Choi), Ravi (Anirudh Pisharody), and Tommy (Lou Ferrigno Jr.) followed! IT FELT SO REAL! IT HURT!
“I completely understand where you’re coming from. Bobby is a father to all. Protect that man at all costs. But have you ever considered that the 9-1-1 team may have wanted fans to see the scene in hopes that the tease would help hype up the episode? And that in the end, Bobby might not actually be dead?”
Go on…
“Well, you and the other 9-1-1 fans have seen a fair share of fatality fake-outs over eight seasons, so maybe this is part of a coma dream sequence, an It’s a Wonderful Life-style look at life without Bobby, something related to Hotshots, or another wacky Ryan Murphy-esque scenario.”
Right, OK. So after the initial behind-the-scenes shock wore off, we all sort of figured that was the case. Besides, would this cast and crew really be lightheartedly goofing around and doing a photoshoot in front of Daddy Nash’s casket if they were about to part ways with him and Krause?
“I’d hope not!”
Same. But 9-1-1 star Ryan Guzman did tell me the only way Eddie would return to Los Angeles is if “a crazy event” brought him back. So it sounds like everyone genuinely thinks Bobby is dead! And showrunner Tim Minear teased an “ambitious” two-part thriller, “9-1-1: Contagion,” (too soon, by the way!) set to unfold over 8×14 and 8×15. So what if some firefighters don’t survive that?!
“Firefighters, plural?! Do you mean that Giarrusso guy?”
Yeah, what’s that his deal?
“It’s too soon to say for sure. But this all seems pretty serious, so if you don’t mind me asking, what made 9-1-1 fans…laugh? And spiral all over again?”
Oh gosh. Well, we don’t have time to recount all of the livestream chaos, the many memes, tomato/mayogate, or the approximately five trillion other developments that unfolded between Sunday and Friday morning. Let me just rewind to the April Fool’s Day debacles that nearly took us all out. First, a bunch of people thought Peter Krause was ACTUALLY leaving the show and that Bobby’s death was confirmed — all because someone Photoshopped a People exclusive headline as a prank.
“Oh, that’s RUDE.”
Tell me about it! Then, in another twist so unexpected that perhaps only writers of a show this unhinged could come up with, while people were busy stressing over that fake news, talented 9-1-1 star/photographer/social media icon Oliver Stark posted an Instagram story of talented 9-1-1 star/director/all-around queen Aisha Hinds sitting beside him in a vehicle. Aisha appeared to be holding a script, and — I kid you not — the tiny corner of visible text described Maddie answering a 9-1-1 call, followed by Bobby (in a coffin!!!) saying, “I’m being buried alive!”
“No. You’re joking! I feel like I NEED TO CALL 911 NOW. So was that an April Fool’s Day prank, too?!”
WE DON’T KNOW! The Instagram Story was deleted, but the script directions will live on in our minds forever. On one hand, I’m terrified. On the other hand, I’m hooting, hollering, and howling, because a what a show. What a gloriously wild, one-of-a-kind show.
“Mood. But wait, if Bobby was buried alive, presumably the day of his funeral, does that mean Maddie skipped this service to work?!”
RIGHT?! We all thought that was super weird, too. You really get it.
“And hey, on the bright side, hopefully this means Bobby lives, right?”
Yeah, but he’s still…six feet under!
“Did you just make a Six Feet Under joke? Papa Nash is buried alive and you’re making a Six Feet Under Joke?!”
Sorry. I’ll confess this sin to Bobby’s pal, the Hot Priest — I mean, Father Brian. BTW, if Bobby’s being buried alive, that suggests his loved ones genuinely thought he was dead and mourned him, which I don’t LOVE. Tim Minear, if you’re reading this, our man better LIVE. If he does, all will be forgiven.
“And what an absolutely flex it would be!”
Yeah, long live 9-1-1. And long live Bobby Nash. But what are we supposed to we do with all of this information? Nervous systems are in CHOKEHOLDS, here.
“Unfortunately, I can’t really help you. The only first responders who can give fans the relief they’re looking for right now…are the members of the 118, so you’ll have to tune into ABC Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. ET and pray they don’t leave you on a massive cliffhanger before taking a week-long hiatus later this month.“
Oh my god. So you’ve got NOTHING to help?!
“Well, 9-1-1 just got renewed for an 18-episode Season 9! Hopefully that helps!!! Otherwise, until these mysterious storylines play out, I’d recommend being kind to yourselves and others; taking frequent social media breaks; remembering that beloved actor Peter Krause is alive and well; and reading Decider’s S8B interviews with Tim Minear, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Ryan Guzman to pass the time Oh and PSA: 911 calls are not a joke!!!“
New episodes of 9-1-1 premiere Thursdays on ABC with next-day streaming on Hulu.